As of lately, I have developed a writing habit. I have never been a committed journaler, as I lack commitment to doing things daily: I suck at reading my Bible each day (though I most definitely should), taking vitamins, and calling or contacting my parents somehow.
Still, I have had the greatest pleasure in writing as of late. My large project has required me to lock myself in my room, sit at my desk with a pot of coffee, put my iPod on repeat of the same song, and write for two hours straight. My process has required me to immerse myself in a memory, plunging me into some of my darkest moments headfirst and reliving them all over again. Still, I never would have guessed how much I would heal in this process.
For some reason, I, as I'm sure many people do, cling to the worst mistakes I make, never quite allowing myself the sufficient grace to forgive myself. Punish, punish, punish. However, I have also seen that I could make a habit out of doing this to others, not allowing me to love and forgive them for mistakes they have made in the past.
(I learned this after writing about my mom.)
It's time to let it go, I've decided.
So when I finish this piece of (sometimes very) creative nonfiction, I will have unclenched my fist and let all of it leave me, ahold of grudges and regret no more.
If you haven't pursued writing about your hardest times, I would encourage you to do it. It's amazing what a little hindsight and a lot of coffee and Gospel can do.
Not to mention music.
I can't wait to hear all of your pieces, dear ones.
I'm glad writing has helped you through a hard time in your life. I'm actually writing about a difficult thing in my life and it is helping a lot to write about it. Good luck finishing your project!
ReplyDeleteThis is great Dottie. It's amazing the things in life that can help heal. I can't wait to see your piece!
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